Attention

We’ve been having a lot of rainbow weather this winter. You know, the kind of weather where it pours for a bit, and then the sun comes out and it seems brighter than it ever has, and everything is shiny and smells fresh – and sometimes, when you’re paying attention, you can spot a rainbow or two. This morning, walking Ruby in rainbow weather, I noticed a flowering succulent with delicate pink bell-looking buds glowing at the corner of my street. I have never noticed this plant before, and by my count, I’ve done this walk at least 700 times over the last 2 years. This was not a new plant – it was settled and sprawling and looked like it had been in bloom for awhile. I can’t stop thinking about how I have never noticed it before. I can’t stop thinking about all of the other things I probably miss all of the time.

I keep thinking of Mary Oliver, and how she writes “Attention is Devotion.”

I wrote the above paragraph the day before Mary Oliver died in January. Then a few days later I read Wendell Berry’s essay A Native Hill, where he describes an incident similiar to what I had just experienced as he walks upon bluebells in the woods by his home, “Though I had been familiar for years with most spring woods flowers, I had never seen these and had never known they were here. Looking at them, I felt a strange loss and sorrow that I had never seen them before, but I was also exultant that I saw them now – that they were here.”

Life is so weird when these coincidences happen. When what we are reading or listening to appears in our lives over and over again. We are given so many signs and messages. How many do we miss?

Every week I notice AT LEAST 10 hawks gliding in the sky or sitting in a tree when I am taking neighborhood walks, driving to work, or walking across campus. The other day one flew right in front of my face as I got out of my car. This started happening about two years ago. I am positive that they have always been around, but I am just now noticing them everywhere I look.

How many things do I miss every single day? Words intended a certain way, reactions from others. A hint of something. Corruption on all levels. A bump or mole somewhere on my body. Humans take so much of what is around us for granted.

Attention is Devotion, Attention is Devotion, Attention is Devotion.

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In the midst of reading lots of Mary Oliver and Wendell Berry, I’ve picked up some amazing books. In particular, I loved the immersive experience of the criminal reform system and power structures in Rachel Kushner’s The Mars Room. It is uncomfortable and dirty – and completely unique writing. Peter Heller’s The River is poetry, mystery, and another immersive experience – this time into the natural world. Like he does in so much of his writing, he looks at the destructive nature of humans and the wild – one of my favorite authors right now.

Books about complicated women always make me happy. In Red Clocks by Leni Zumas abortion is illegal in the US and women are affected by decisions made when they had “been too tired to care.” The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker explores the Iliad and vain Achilles through the eyes of a enslaved girl. The short, darkly funny My Sister the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite explores physical beauty and the things some people can get away with. And it won the TOB of this year – that alone makes it worth reading!

I loved the memoir I Am I Am I Am by Maggie O’Donnell. I obsessively listened to the audio version as she described close-encounters with death including miscarriage, near-misses with violent crime, anaphalaxis, and so much more. Beautiful, truthful, and brave. Another great memoir is All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung – it explores adoption and deep truths about family.

Other good books I read the last few months include: Lethal White by Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling) is the 4th book in the Cormoran Strike series and it is hopelessly addicting and fun to read. The Dreamers by Karen Walker Thompson is an eerie fairy tale about a fast-moving sleeping virus. The Wildlands by Abby Geni looks at a family torn apart by a devastating tornado, poverty and animal rights. The House of Broken Angels by Luis Martin Urrea takes place in San Diego and centers around a Mexican-American family as their patriarch nears death. Funny, heartwarming, and a book for right now.

Currently, I am reading The Library Book by Susan Orlean – if you are a library lover like me, go get this book! It is a mystery about arson, an ode to libraries, and a fascinating history read. I’m also slowly reading the essays in The Ends of the Ends of the Earth by Jonathan Franzen. The essays look at climate change as a privileged westerner and a birder – some of the essays are a bit annoying, but the title essay is pretty much perfect.

I also listened to Grisham’s The Reckoning and Morton’s The House at Riverton on my commute – I don’t recommend them unless you are all out of other things to listen to…

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Did you read Christopher Pike as a kid? Slumber Party terrified me, and hooked me onto all of his books. I was obsessed! If you were, read this interview

More than anything, I always think about the way our society treats animals illustrates our overall blindness to cruelty. Great article on the emotional lives of animals.

This article about work expresses a lot of the ways I feel – read it if you need some help putting things in perspective.

This article by Bill McKibben about Diane Feinstein and her encounter with the child protestors. Sigh. He captures it perfectly.

So glad Brandi Carlile is everywhere lately. “[Trump] is so aggressive and loud and ugly — we don’t need more aggression and loud and ugly,” Carlile says. “We need debilitating empathy.” Debilitating empathy – what a concept. Read more here. Also check out the CBS Sunday Morning piece on her band.

Mark Bittman has a new online magazine – here, here on the goals…Food should be fair to people and animals, affordable for everyone, and procured in a way that respects our natural resources. Food should make us healthy, and in an ideal world, it should taste good

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